Before I even begin this discussion, I just want to get right on out there and say that, NO I DO NOT DISAGREE WITH ONLINE DATING! I think it’s a perfectly acceptable way to meet people, it’s just not for me.
The first reason is probably because of the cost. Why does it have to be so dang expensive? Seriously, it’s like $200-$300 a year (for the good websites); I know that there are free ones, but on those I get the distinct idea that people there are looking for a hook up. I’m sorry, I don’t hook up and I also don’t have that kind of money to throw around.
The second, and perhaps most important reason, is the fact that I’m too honest. Let me explain, I did try dating online once. A certain online dating site (which shall remain nameless) was offering a week free, so I figured I’d give it a shot. Once I got through all of the people desiring nothing more than a one nighter, I finally came across someone who seemed interesting. Actually, on paper, he seemed like he could be my long lost soul mate. I mean, we had just about everything in common- well, except for the fact that he had a cat and I’m allergic; but whatever, you can’t win them all. Anyway, we chatted for about 2 or 3 weeks before finally deciding to meet. I was ecstatic! So, I showed up at Barnes and Noble, 15 minutes early, and stood outside awaiting my would be “prince charming.”
About 10 minutes later, he showed up and introduced himself. He looked NOTHING like his picture (later I found out that it was from nearly 2 years ago). But, at any rate, I wasn’t going to let that get in the way. So we went inside, ordered coffees and began talking. It took me about 15 minutes to realize that this guy was nothing like the man he said he was on his profile. He didn’t graduate from college (but he attended a “few semesters”), he wasn’t really a fan of baseball (he only “pretended” to be so that I would talk to him), and he didn’t exactly have the “medical career” he’d previously claimed to have (apparently, he was just an escort. You know, the guy who comes to get you out of your room to take you to get an MRI, or something of the sort?). Now mind you, none of these things were “deal breakers” on their own; it was the combination of lies (and that’s not even all of them) that did it for me. I mean, if you can’t even be honest when you’re describing yourself to a potential love interest, when can you be?
So, I called him on it; I asked him why he had said all of those things that were clearly untrue. He honestly looked me in the eye and said, “Stephanie, everyone does that. You give them just enough to get them to meet with you and then you turn on the charm.” Excuse me, what? NO, uh-uh, not happening, not here. I am an honest person and I told him so.
What happened a bit later was perhaps the icing on the proverbial cake. He started talking to me about the coming weekend and how we could “spend the whole thing together.” Oh yeah, he had plans for me to go meet his parents, check out the apartment, and perhaps even meet his friends. This guy went from “OK, maybe” to a stage five clinger in like 5.7 seconds. This is where I erred in judgement; I think I was so totally thrown by his suggestions, that I lost all sense.
Yep, you may have guessed it, I said “OK.” However, once I came to my senses (the next morning), I texted him to tell him that it wasn’t going to work. I was nice, though, and didn’t say that it was because I thought he was off his rocker crazy; I merely said that, after some thought, I just felt like we weren’t right for each other. What, you ask, did he say? He said, ” Yeah, I think you’re too honest.”
I give up!