The altercation of life

“What has been the most painful experience in your life? How did it alter your view of the world? How has it affected your life?”

It truly amazes me how quickly one’s life can be altered. It takes less than a minute.

My life was irrevocably altered in March of 2016. I was at work, and my mother called me crying hysterically. She called to inform me that her worst fear has come to life; she called to tell me that she had cancer.

It was at that moment that my life came crashing down around me. With those brief seconds on the phone, my life would never again be the same.

Honestly, I never thought it was possible that I might have to (at such a young age) spend any amount of time without my mother’s love and guidance. I never knew that someone so inherently good could experience something so incredibly heinous. I thought it would be smooth sailing (much like I had witnessed with my cousin and my friend’s mom just months before). I thought she’d go for chemo and then possibly radiation; then we’d be done.

I was wrong! Here we are, more than a year later, struggling to find a chemo to work. Cancer has spread, her spirits and willingness to carry on have faltered, and (understandably so) she is scared. Scared for her life. And there is NOTHING that I can do to help her. NO words to soothe her. NO medicine to quell her pain.

How has it affected my outlook on the world? That’s a tough one to answer. On the one hand, I’m angry because my mom is one of the sweetest, kindest people anyone would ever meet; she’d give you the shirt off of her back even if it were her last one. How can something so awful happen to her? It makes the take care of others and God will take care of you piece of religion seem a bit seem a bit off, doesn’t it?

Then, on the other hand, it’s shown me more and more that life is too short for fear. I’ve learned to do more of the things I want to do.

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