Lovers and friends don’t mix

“When a romance ends, would you rather stay in touch with your former lover or break off all contact? Do you have any close friends who were once lovers?.”

It’s so interesting that this question would come up today because my family and I were just talking about it yesterday.

I had a boyfriend for ten years off and on who I remained friends with the whole time. There were a few times in those ten years when one (or both) of us was seeing someone else; but, we remained close. We confided in each other and helped each other through everything. He loved my family too. He was always more than a lover to me; he was one of my best friends.

That is until he came to me one day and informed me that he was seeing someone and she didn’t feel comfortable with him coming over to see me. She felt that it was “weird” that he and I were so close. He walked away after having said that to me, and I never saw him again. He married her a year or so later.

A couple of years after that, he ran into my mother and father at a local craft fair. He stopped and spoke to them for a little bit (she wasn’t there) and commented, once again, that it was because of her that didn’t come around anymore. I don’t know if it’s insecurity or fear on her part (or even if those mean the same thing); but, even then, after having been married for a few years, he still wasn’t allowed to see me.

Again, just the other day, he ran into my sister at a birthday party for a mutual friend’s children. She waved and said hello, but got nothing but a grunt of sorts as he continued passed her.

Ten years ago I was head over heals in love with this man. No one (in my opinion) ever measured up to the way he loved me; which is why we always found our way back to one another (and perhaps why I’m still single).  I don’t know if we were “destined” to be together or not.  I only know that, then, he knew me better than anyone else ever had. Now, he knows nothing about me. He doesn’t know that I made my dream of becoming a writer and professor come true; nor does he know that my mother is sick. I hope, though, that he does know I miss him- more and more every day.

So, to make a long story short, no, I don’t have any friends who I used to love; and, I will never make that mistake again.


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